There is a certain celebrity named Charlie who had a sitcom show about two grown men, a little boy and their many fiasco's. They called it Two and a Half Men. Catchy. It was on a popular television channel, watched by millions and ran for multiple seasons. Charlie played "Charlie" a womanizing screwed up jingle writer who, of course, always got the babes. The narcissism is just about as transparent as Cinderella's glass slipper.
Things went amazingly well for Charlie as he became the highest paid actor last year raking in almost two million for each episode of his little show. Not a bad paycheck, me thinks to myself as I tilt my head to one side, push up my brow thoughtfully and cast a gaze into the distance imagining for what I might use that kind of dough.
Reeling it back in now and on to finish my story.
So, at some point this actor who goes by the name Charlie Sheen (born Carlos Estevez) got introduced to a little drug commonly referred to as coke. This is not the soft drink, kids! The introduction turned addiction as many of the introductions to cocaine will do. The actor began to dwindle. No really, he lost weight. Check out the photos. His face is decidedly thinner. He was also hospitalized for overdoses.
Mr. Sheen also began to have issues in his personal life. He has been married a few times and has a handful of kids. Five, really - which could be construed as a handful if you are being metaphorical or attempting a pun. I'm not shy; I'll just say it. I was doing both. Let it go. We can talk about me another time.
His last two marriages have ended around accusations and eventual confessions about continued use of coke and he was again hospitalized for drug related symptoms, did seven grand in damage to a hotel room before being sent back to the hospital another time for overdose number...oh I've lost count!
Now his show has been pulled from the television and he's effectively unemployed. Unfortunately, the fall back from that is that so are his now previous coworkers.
As is commonly seen with someone who is high on cocaine, he believes that he is at the top of his game even though the walls are falling down around him.
And now enter the masses. The Lemurs, if you will. Sheen joined Twitter and by golly, everyone was wondering what crazy thing was going to happen with him next and The Lemurs began to follow him. He's headed for the cliff, people! Oh look, he's just gone over...and entering from the left stage is Population Control Of The Lemurs 101. He's suddenly the most popular guy on Twitter.
My God, what has this world come to when The Lemurs start following around a coke addict who just got fired!
So, of course, what does he do now that he's "in the news" so much? Why not accept offers for interviews like crazy? And here is where it gets really fun! Charlie Sheen Quotes become the biggest thing since Mount Everest!
Sheen quotes can now be found all over the web including on thousands (yes I said thousands) of t-shirts on the ever so popular website called Zazzle.com.
Zazzle shall profit heavily from all the "Winning." "Tiger Blood" "I'm an F-18, Bro" and "Team Sheen" t-shirts that are going around.
And that's all we've got for your lovely update of celebrity news tonight. Are you winning?
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