I've renamed my blog from JessicaInSeattle to The Road Jess Travelled. Because I'm not actually from Seattle and this blog is and has over the years been so much about my travels both physically and existentially.
I'm headed out for a trip this weekend to go see some family and friends I haven't seen in all too long and to go to a memorial for a beloved teacher that was tragically killed along with his wife whom I never had the pleasure to meet.
It will be a very long drive. I'm looking forward to the solitude I will have on the return trip as I will be with one of my children on the way down but will return solo. It will be good to have the time to just be with my thoughts.
I am not a sit still kind of person. I rarely watch a whole movie unless I'm in a theatre. At home, I get up and start tidying something, inevitably. I even have a hard time sitting at the dinner table with my kids until they finish. I tend to get up and start cleaning the kitchen while they finish eating even though I know that family time around the table is important.
Being trapped in the car on my own for over seven hours will provide me with an opportunity I rarely get. The opportunity to explore inside my own thoughts and feelings. The opportunity to turn the radio up as loud as I can without blowing the speakers. The opportunity to listen to a book on tape. The opportunity to focus on nothing but the road ahead of me both physically and metaphorically. The opportunity to drive in the slow lane because I won't be in a hurry or on the schedule of another individual.
The opportunity to feel the weight of silence. Silence is not something I am good at retaining. Something in me feels uncomfortable in silence most of the time. Anyone who knows me well knows I talk a lot. Even my coworkers could tell you that if I don't have music playing in my ear, I'm talking to my computer screen. Maybe it's time to get comfortable carrying that weight. Maybe that weight can be like the weight of a heavy blanket. Something to explore.
And after the weekend I'm about to have, I will likely be in need of a heavy blanket draped over me to provide a bit of comfort.
Until Next Time,