Back to the Drawing Board

I knew it had been a long time since I picked up the tools of one of my all too many hobbies and put sharpened charcoal to paper to make an image existing in my minds eye appear on the page.

What I failed to realize, until calculating it all out, was that it has actually been four months! How has my pour soul survived for four months being trapped inside me with nary a day to be unleashed in the form of a sketch?

So what made today that day that I should pick up my pencils again? I happened upon a September 2010 issue of Vogue Magazine being given away to the first hand that should grab it in the lobby of my building. Something in me possessed me to grasp it tightly to my bosom and carry it swiftly to my kitchen counter where I proceeded to turn every page one-by-one pausing every few to rip from it's innards any photograph that caught my eye.

Page after page began piling up on my kitchen counter top and by the time I got to the last I'd torn twenty-four pages from within to use as ideas and model poses for sketches. I set myself up on my couch with my special pencils, my charcoal, my kneading eraser and my smudgers that I keep in an old cigar box. I propped up a page with a photograph of a young woman standing nude and pictured from the hip up. I drew a nude woman from the mid thigh up as you can see.

It didn't turn out well but it isn't my worst work and it's still a work in progress so I can still tinker with it but overall, after taking a four month hiatus, I'm feeling rather satisfied to be back at my drawing board again.

And I've noticed I'm also back to blogging as well.

I'll tell you all later what has suddenly produced such copious amounts of free time in my world. I'm using it well I do believe!

Cross walk button

As I sat in the park near my work today sunning myself while taking a much needed break, I watched runners, walkers and bikers stream by in front of me. Not too far to my left was crosswalk where many of them would stop to push the button and head south.

I could hear them slam their palms against the button to activate the signal and as I listened, i noticed that each and every one hit it twice.

That got me to wondering why they did that. Why twice? What is the point of doing that when once is all it takes?

Is that like waving a polaroid frantically in the air...just a way to pass the time knowing good and well that it makes no difference at all in speeding up the process?

Hmm...something to ponder.

Life On The Sleeve Of The Internet

What is blogging all about? Sharing little bits and pieces of our lives, minds and hearts with whoever may saunter by it to peek into this very limited window of our selves?

I believe that for some, it serves as a journal of sorts, just one that also happens to be worn on the sleeve of the Internet for all eyes to see.

For others it becomes a creative writing outlet and a way for them to be as published as someone who also has probably a couple of kids, a dog and drives a minivan might ever be.

Of course there are news blogs by those who are passionate about what they believe politicians can do for us or against us.

And the list goes on. All blogging is about sharing though, and all blogs have stories to tell.

My own blog has gaps in it that tell of the turmoil I have recently undergone while in the midst of a divorce that took me away from blogging as I believed there was a significant risk that I would somehow incriminate myself with these little letters in the form of words.

It also has stories in it of friends, ideas, an entrepreneurial journey I have undertaken and a small peek into the city I live in and the children I am raising.

Last week I ended up unexpectedly in the hospital. When I had my sister call my oldest friend, it was because I wasn't sure I would come out of the hospital alive. The last thing on my mind was my blog. This page would have existed here long after I had gone to leave a very tiny window into a life that had once been.

The thing that is odd to me now is that thinking I was potentially close to losing my life, brought me closer to wanting to share my life with complete strangers...you...if there is even anyone who reads my blog.

I know someone did once because they commented and I know my friends have a few times.

But even if no one does read my blog, I guess I want to leave something for my children to potentially discover when I do pass on.

So I suppose mine falls under the definition of a journal of sorts on the sleeve of the Internet.

So be it. For now, I'm still here to write about my life, so why not?