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Sunday, November 6, 2022

TBI Is Not The Same As TMI

So your first question is going to be "What the heck is TBI"?
I'll start by answering that with what the letters stand for: "Traumatic Brain Injury".

And by the time you finish reading this, I hope that you will understand what that means.  Specifically that it is not just someone getting hit in the head.  Is anything ever really that simple?

Let me interrupt myself here by letting you in on a little secret.  I started this post two years ago and then forgot that I was writing it.  That right there is one of the things that happen to me frequently and it is because of my TBI. 

Yes, many of you may say that you forget things all the time.  You walk into a room in your home forgetting why you went in there, you forget your cup of coffee on top of your car, you forget to grab your lunch when you head out the door, you forget where you put your keys.

What is different with me is that I forget all those things but I also forget what a cup is called...yes, I literally forget the word "cup" or any nouns.  Makes writing very difficult at times and also makes the thesaurus a necessity in my life!  I get what I call "noun negative" more when I am stressed or tired.  Don't get me wrong, I can have a conversation and avoid nouns most of the time.  When they do come up and I'm not stressed or tired, I'm usually okay(ish) with most nouns.  But when I'm noun negative, I have a very difficult time conversing if the topic happens to bring up nouns. 

What do I do when I am noun negative?  I use adjectives or other nouns to describe the word I am looking for.  For instance, if I've misplaced my "coffee cup", I might say "Have you seen my round thing that I put my hot drink in?"

Edit number three:
It is now November of 2022 and I'm adding to this post for the third time because, once again, I forgot I was writing it. Not only did I forget I was writing it; I completely forgot I had a blog.  A lot has happened since August of 2018 when I published the short blurb above and I never did get to finish my initial thoughts.  At this point I never will because I have no idea what my thoughts were four years ago.  

What I do know is that I have been exposed to many more people who also suffer from noun negative thinking and it has been an odd comfort while simultaneously causing me to be sad for others who experience this.  I also have discovered through talking to more people who have been through chemotherapy that noun negative is a side effect of chemotherapy and those people can relate to me as well.  And now that we are post the beginning of this new COVID era, I and thousands upon thousands of others can also relate as the "COVID brain fog" is extremely similar to both a TBI and "chemo brain".

I am not so alone in my experience anymore.  The odd comfort I mentioned above is still there.  So is the feeling of helpfulness as I'm able to give tips I've been doing for nearly eighteen years.
Side note, how has it been eighteen years already? 
Little things forgotten that become big things such as forgetting to apply deodorant have made me plan ahead.  I have deodorant at home, in my backpack and in my desk at work.  Same with toothbrushes, dental floss and snacks (because I also forget to eat).

It's highly likely that I have ADHD "inattentive type" and that my TBI made it a lot worse.  So I use a lot of tips and tricks that those with ADHD use as well.  I write notes, use a calendar, make lists, utilize my phone alarm habitually, and probably at least three other things I'm currently forgetting. I also end up admitting to people regularly and say "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention.  Can you please repeat that?"

With my COVID brain fog, it felt like I was right after my TBI again.  I got lost on a single street forgetting which way to turn and didn't recognize landmarks.  I forgot to shower, to eat or drink during the day, to do basic things people simply do not forget to do. 

But here we are two plus years post my first (and worst) COVID infection as well as eighteen years post TBI.  Some things that affect the brain can't be brought back, but a remarkable number of things can with proper therapies.  Cognitive therapy is huge in brain recovery as well as personal therapy to help one cope with the struggles of having a dysfunctional brain.  One cannot simply try harder to do something they used to do before a brain injury.  A plan has to be set in place to help the brain retrain to use a different part of itself for a task it can no longer accomplish with that part of itself.  

I highly recommend cognitive therapy, neurological testing to coincide with cognitive therapy so the therapist knows what brain tasks you're struggling with, and EMDR if that is appropriate for your specific needs.  

And thus concludes my third update.  Perhaps I shall come back again to add more at a later time.


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